Magical Wedding Cake Resurrected

Ok…so I had previously written about a $50,000 wedding cake that I wanted to punch in its third tier.  But apparently when you buy a cake at that price, it comes with…MAGICAL POWERS!!!! muahaha.

Setting: Ballroom. Event:  Super nice wedding…as always. Cake: Right in front of the door so the world sees it when they walk inside.

There the 5 tier cake sat it all its glory.  It had its own table, and its own spotlight.  Its crystal sugar glistened in the candle lit room.  Sigh.  I bet it tasted delicious…

Anyways, things started getting exciting.  People started shaking their booty’s, and the drinks were flying.

Not sure exactly how it happened…but someone drank and shook a little to much around the shrine of the cake…and

sha-BAM!

Emergency! Cake down!  Cake down!

It collapsed.

OMG.  That thing probably cost a ton ton ton.  And it was done done done.

So, chefs more frazzled then the bride hustled out with a wheeled table and hoisted the once radiant pastry onto it.  With their white hats erect like little cake making Keebler elves, they whisked it away into who knows where land.

This is where the hotel and all its wealth conjured up the spirits of the late Henry Flagler and worked its magic.

No exaggeration.

About 7 minuets later….out came the cake.  Looking better then it did before. 

Magic.

Magical.

A mystery.

How did they do it??!!

The big question of the night: can the chefs take me into their magical room and make me look better then when I went in?

Not if I am still wearing this tuxedo. Sigh.

Cake: $50,000. Wedding: …Priceless?

Sometimes, when we emerged from the depths of the employee basement dungeon, we would find ourselves in a ballroom decorated to look like a fairy tale.  Most of these overly decorated events would be weddings. 

I always appreciated a highly decorated wedding.  It was beautiful to look at, and besides, they usually rented glasses and plates, so less work for us.   Honesty.

But one particular wedding stood out more then most.  It was in our biggest ballroom, the one that used to host the 1,000 people lavish open bar fillet Mignon black tie employee Christmas party pre-recession.  That sadly, was taken away from us.  We all took a day of grieving.

I’m not bitter. grrrrr…

Moving on.  This wedding was decorated to the 9’s.  It had a full stage set up for  a band performance, flower arrangements that probably cost more then my entire wedding budget, and of course, a cake.

It sat in the back under its own spotlight, illuminated like it was some sort of god or shrine.  It had white flowers covering the entire thing, made completely out of sugar. Edible.  (Yet they tasted like cardboard.)

Meh. O.k. cake, I thought.  I have seen prettier.

Well apparently I hadn’t.  My supervisor walked by and told me under his breath how much it cost.

Fifty. Thousand. Dollars.

That is $50,000. Or fifty thousand dollars. Or you can write it FifTy ThOuSand DolLarS.

I almost choked.  I could not believe it.  Suddenly, the cake became a person.  I person I could glare at, talk bad about, and even envy.

I hated that cake.

All night I would walk past its illuminated sugary self, and I would glare.

I was glaring, at a pastry.

But all I could think about was how that pastry, was the same price as my student loans.

And the best part about weddings like this is, by the time you get around to serving the cake people have already eaten 5 courses, and hardly ever take a bite of the wedding cake.

AH!  Do you know what it is like throwing away $50,000 worth of CAKE!  All I could think as I scrapped each untouched piece into the garbage was $100, $200, $300….sigh.  Insanity.

At a similar wedding, there was a cake for $25,000.  I served the brides family all night, and took note that the brides father was not in the best mood.  Finally, as the night ended, and he saw his $25,000 worth of sugar flour and frosting being dumped into the trash, I heard him grumble…

 ”I cant believe we got that cake.  We should have just gone to COSTCO.”

I ate a piece of the cake.  It was good.  But so is Costco cake…