Then after the show its the after party… And after the party its the hotel lobby.” -The Wise R Kelly
Oh drunks. There was a man, clad in his gold wedding ring and best business suit, leaning up against the bar… clearly flirting with a woman who was in no way his wife, and, her mother. Not just the daughter…but both. Ew. They were at the after party of some event, so he had already been overly wined and dined all night. But since he was leaning up on the bar, and could some what control his speech, the extent of his inhalation was not yet visible, so onward and upward with the wine pour!
But then, best said in the words of Semisonic…
“Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every
girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or
beer
Closing time
You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”
I don’t know why I keep quoting old school songs…but I like it.
Anyways, closing time.
The man props himself off the bar, and begins to walk….horizontally.
Literally this man defied gravity. He was swerving like a drunk on I-95. No lies….he probably made 7 laps around the room before making it to the door…
Seeing his inebriation, the ladies he was lusting for (collectively) allowed him to lean on them as they tried to steer him out of the ballroom. But as they walked out the door, literally all of the servers in the room perked there heads up like meercats, and ran to the door. We knew what was about to happen. We knew.
We knew …that right outside of the room was …..STAIRS. Cue Beethoven’s Fifth.
And this big drunk baboon with the middle age and elderly women on his arms was heading right for it.
One step, two steps, aaaanddddddddddddd……..
cue WIPE OUT. The man went head first down stairs, taking the ladies with him. Oh and on his way down he made sure to smash his noggin into the cement wall. oucchh.
So, the ladies and the buffoon were flattened, in the middle of one of the classiest hotels in America.
A true moment of pride for that married business trip attender. I bet he received a promotion after this class act evening.
sigh.
Yet another shift….
