‘Straight’, married, old important political figure tries to pick up male server. EW

So often in the news you hear about big higher ups in Washington having huge sex scandals revealed.  But its not so often that you see one, that has not yet been uncovered, happen before your eyes. 

This is another ew story. Ew.

There was a boring conservative function in one of the ballrooms.  It was a dinner, that had all the characteristics of a normal function, minus the fun.

Tan tablecloths covered the tables…an instant warning that whoever put together this event did not have fun in mind.

Ok you are going to have to forgive me because I can’t remember exactly who this function was for.  But I can tell you this.

They were politicians…congressmen? Senators? The exact title is irrelevant… something of the national level.  They were of such importance that there were secret service outside the ballroom blocking the doors.

This one particular mystery politician was about 65, 70 years old.  He had white hair and dressed in a black suit…donning his American flag lapel pin.

He was pointed out to us as someone important. Blah blah blah.

His wife was there.  This is an important thing to note. His WIFE was there.

Anyways, there was this server named Tony.  He was Italian, had long dark hair slicked back, olive skin and a sense of humor.  We all liked him, he was a cool guy.

Anyways, this important white haired politician approaches Tony.  Tony offers him a cocktail wiener (ahem) or something to that extent.  The politician accepts, then pulls Tony in close.  The married to a woman, important influence on our country politician says through his sly yellow teethed grin

I like your smile.

“Thank you”, Tony replied.

The man tightens his grip on Tony’s arms still muscled from his stint in the Army, and pulls him in closer.

No, I REALLY like your smile..

And with that, the important political figure popped the cocktail wiener into his mouth, gave Tony another look…and walked back over to his wife.

His poor, poor wife.

EW.

This really happened, I could not make this up.

Tony, after throwing up a little into his mouth, came right back to the kitchen and told us his horrifying tale.

We all choked on our fillet mignon and sushi rolls we were shoving in our mouths in the back freezer.  One person started laughing and shot stolen Diet Coke out of his nostrils.

I kept watch the rest of the night for the political pervert.  I saw the old man throw Tony winks, or just stare longingly in his direction.

All while his wife kept chatting and kept sipping.

Maybe the candy apple martini numbs the pain?  Or makes you blind…

This was so disgusting.But it was real and it happened.

Good thing this man has the fate of our country in his hands…..ah…yup. Sigh.

Just another day on the job…

Most awkward co-worker encounter ever. EVER

 

One thing that comes along with every job is weird co-workers.  No matter where you go, or where you work..there is always going to be that batch of lunatics.

At our job we get to deal with people from every different culture imaginable.  It is pretty cool.  I get to learn about other countries customs, and even pick up a few new words in several different languages.  I can swear and call people a homosexual in about five languages.  Just call me educated.

Anyways, there are so many people from so many places it often gets hard to keep track.  Plus we are all dressed identical so sometimes its hard to tell one person from another.

This lack of recognition is especially evident when you run into some co workers out side of work.  They will follow you or approach you and you won’t recognize them right away, then you finally throw out a “Oh…hey…you!” Having forgotten their name without their gold plated name tag to help you out.

Anyways, this was one of those moments.  I was in a department store shopping for some lingerie.  My sister was getting married and I was buying her hot things for her bridal shower that evening.  So my cart was piled high with unmentionables, for my sister.

I turn around and was looking at something on a rack.

When I turned back…there was a man, holding this tiny cheetah print thong I picked out, and tenderly stroking the crotch of it.

I gasped.

 

Side note-I just threw up remembering this moment.

So, with sly eyes and a thick accent, he muttered…

How you husband?

What?! Who was this strange man stroking my cheetah thong?!  And how does he know my super awesome adorable husband? eek.

 

Oh….it hit me. Co-Worker.  Got it.  I know you.  Hey there…person I can’t remember your name and don’t recognize you if you are not wearing a tux. Hey how you doing…..now get your nasty fingers off my lingerie. BARF.

Seriously, comment and give me a more awkward co-worker encounter, and I will give you five dollars.  The worst part is I still don’t know who who he was.  I go back to work and jump into the sea of tuxes and everyone blends together.  But every time he sees me he probably thinks of that underwear and the feel of it between his nasty digits.  fsdkljfklsdjfljsdklfj. Gross.

EW. End of story. Ew.