Rush Limbaugh lives on Palm Beach, so naturally, when he wants to have a little get together he rents out a massive ballroom at the hotel, and throws a party like no other. I dressed in my tuxedo, sighing and internally whining, knowing that yet another shift was looming my way. But some nights whe you show up at work, a delicious little surprise greets you, making the night so much more bearable. Your supervisors, it a half hushed tone, tell you that someone famous was going to be there. Instantly you perk up, and begin to convince yourself that you actually like your job.
So, in his secretive, dramatic, and hushed fashion my supervisor informed us that it was Rush Limbaugh’s party, and a lot of very well-to-do people were going to be there…aka every famous Republican in the country.
The party was lavish, most of it already set up, with rented plates, tablecloths, and glasses. Nice, less work for us! At every place setting there is a box with a chocolate square in it, with Rush’s signature written on it…in chocolate. I may or may not have snagged one and kept it in my freezer…just saying.
The crowd starts pouring in. Mike Huckabee and Anne Coulter burst through the doors. I gasp. Anne looked especially tall and skinny in person…she may have resembled an alien… and Mike Huckabee looked round and jolly like a sweet old Grandpa that buys you nice Christmas gifts and takes you to his condo in Naples. I was still in awe. I went up and offered Anne, a drink, just to brag to people later that I talked to her. She ordered…..drum roll….this is very exciting….a diet coke with no ice. No ice. Our diet coke is warm. Ew.
I got the alien her warm coke, and, again using my waitressing powers for selfish reasons, I grabbed a plate of mini cheeseburgers and headed over to the big Rush himself. He ate two. Sah-weet.
But the most interesting part of the night was not the cheeseburger warm coke handouts, rather the wedding that was also booked at the hotel that night. When a lady from the wedding party realized that there was a whole room of Republicans lurking near her very liberal wedding celebration, she flipped. She insisted the wedding party be re-routed in the hotel to avoid the evilness that all Republicans have lurking inside of them. She was yelling. And I was entertained.
Just another day on the job…