50 year age gap is the new 5

My lovely husband also has been captured by the powers of tuxedo land, and has sold his soul to banquet serving…at least for the time being.  One day I pray he will be liberated…sigh.

Anyways…this little diddy  has to do with him.  He is a young, strapping, handsome fellow who often gets attention from the ladies.  Especially the older ladies. 

For example, as a high school pizza delivery boy, a 50 some woman once answered the door and received her pie clad in her just her bra and jeans….awkward. 

You get the picture… they just love him….perhaps too much?

However, this particular guest falls way past the age of the middle age cougar….she probably falls into the category of…I don’t know….elephant? Tortoise?  Something far beyond the age of the 48 year old cougars.

As he was serving, offering drinks, etc this cute precious, seemingly innocent grandma gestured to him with her wiry long wrinkled hand to come in close…she had something to tell him…and it was important.

Would she like a coke? Vodka tonic?  Caviar beggars pouch with creme fresh? 

Oh know….this tortoise wanted much more.

Whispering loud enough to be heard over the band and chatter…she said to him…

If I was 50 years younger… I would take you upstairs and put your boots under my bed.”

50. years. younger. WOW.

Now, although this expression is not something us young 20 somes throw around daily at when out at the club looking for a lifetime lova… he got the picture.

He politely declined this elephants advances…although I thought twice about it…I mean, this woman was a millionaire!  He could have snagged one hefty tip!

Joke. Joke. Joke. I was joking.

Just another day on the job…

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