Would You Care for Caviar Oh My Goodness I See a Nude.

There is a courtyard in the middle of the hotel.  Decorated beautifully with huge staircases, and a central fountain complete with classical Greek statues spiting water out of their circular stone mouths..  The ground is covered in crooked old bricks which provide an excellent opportunity to trip and fall on your face… but that’s another story.  There are several guest rooms that surround this courtyard that light up at night like fire.

People often hold events in this area, usually breakfast, lunch, or wedding receptions.  When we have to set up for breakfasts there we have to usually arrive around 4:30 a.m.  The Florida heat is already sweltering and by the time the guests get there it looks like they are being served by a clan of frizzy haired homeless.

Anyways…party: reception. Time of day: Night.  Rooms: Lit up.

We were tuxedo clad, and ready to get the night rolling.  I grabbed a plate of mini hot dogs or something to that effect, and walked out to begin the evening of slavery. 

But when I got out there, I noticed something odd.  All the boys were walking around with the heads held higher then usual.  Hmm..

There faces were turned upward as if trying to get a night time tan.  It was almost as if they were not even looking at the guests when they offered them food or drink, rather there eyes remained at an upward slant toward some unknown object…

I went up to a fellow server and asked what was up…literally? I am lame.

Anyways.  He replied…

Boobs.

Boobs?  I followed his gaze.  Some intelligent, wonderful guest was getting ready for here glamorous evening…NAKED!  With the light on!  Her entire body illuminated and on display.

Say WhAt?

You could see everything.  And she stayed there…for a long time.   It takes awhile to get ready if you are a rich and famous…

Anyways, she could not have picked a worse room or a worse time to do her makeup in the nude.  At least according to me…

But to the dozen male servers in that courtyard that night…her timing was perfect.  

I mean….who doesn’t dream of towering butt naked over an entire courtyard full of people wining and dining on California rolls and Cristal? 

Not on my to-do list anytime soon.

LOVE.

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