Styx pays a visit to Palm Beach … and brings awkward 80’s hair groupies.

So the entertainment for the night was going to be the band Styx.  Sweet…. who are they?

I know I know… shame on me for being not born yet when the band hits their peak.  But after forcing a couple co workers to awkwardly sing some lyrics, I at once knew who there were.  So, for all you 1987’ers who may be a little foggy on their Styx knowledge, please see the following video.  It probably will ring a bell … and make you wish you were alive and kicking via 1977 when this little number topped the charts:


Amazing, love those white linen pants.  If you look close enough you can tell that those long hair beauties are indeed men.

So the rock band sets up, huge stage, huge event.  Despite the border line tacky slash amazing rock band now made up of old dad’s, the dinner and decor was nothing but superb as the hotel always manages to pull off.

Cocktail hour begins.  With my black tie tied oh so tight and my hair already a frizzy mess, I begin to serve.  The guests are in there black tie best, long gown, suits. 

But then a couple minutes into the wine and dine session, I began noticing some people that just didn’t …well look right.

There hair was a little too long, and a little too mullety.

Instead of looking like 5 star class, you could see Zubaz sticking out of there orange tuxedo pants..  Basically, a couple of these guys drifted in. 
(while looking for a hot picture of Zubaz, I came across the Zubaz website. Yes, they have a website, and yes, you can still buy them.  This is probably the most important piece of information I have ever written out.  Zubaz are still very much alive and thriving.  If you would like to own a pair, or check out some hot Zubaz pics, click here.) 

So after my manager approached and removed men stuck in 1985, with there Styx tattoos poking out of there cut off t-shirts, the party resumed.

Don’t ask me how these guys even found out about the Styx concert let alone got into the hotel. Maybe there is some sort of a classic rock band light signal that flashes in the sky like Batman.  Maybe there is an underground classic rock society that meets in caves and drinks beers from cans and whips there long hair around and shows off there guitar pics they caught at that super rad concert they went to in 1986 before there favorite band broke up and with it broke their hearts. Maybe.

Anyways, dinner was served, and desert came and went.  There was a dull chatter among the crowd.  If you listened close you could hear far to many stories about there Styx experiences, back in the good ol’ days.

Then, it happened.

The lights went out.  The stage lit up.  The women, with there Versace gowns and silicone chests, jumped out of there chairs and began screaming like they 16 again. 

And then, Styx emerges.

What do you think they look like these days?  Has there hair gotten smaller, or there clothes a little classier? 

No.  They were still rockin it Styx style.  For example, here is a then and now photo comparison: 





As you can see, the hair still flows in the wind, the leather is still plastered to their body’s, and the moustaches still make onlookers uncomfortable. Ew moustaches.

So as the Palm Beachers were day dreaming about the night they first kissed Tommy in the back of his Trans-Am Firebird, I began feeling the Styx vibes myself. 

It was an amazing concert, and even more amazing to see these men rocking it out like they never went out of style.  Truly talented and truly entertaining, I will now forever be a Styx lover.

So the show wraps up, and my manager orders me to go clean out a conference room.

I walk in, and I discover that I have entered… STYX DRESSING ROOM.

I then too drifted back to the memories of my very first concert, my hair bigger than Texas and freshly permed, my Styx t-shirt on, and ripped jean cut offs…and making out with Tommy in the back of his Delorean after the show, with fruit punch wine cooler on our breath.

Ok that never happened but a girl can dreammmmmm.

So I start picking up the room.  I see some Organic Herbal throat-coat tea, so necessary for a rocking band like Styx.

I also see half eaten sandwhiches, a pile of un-touched cookies and a half drinken coke.  Maybe they prefer Tab soda

I also find shirt tags, newly ripped off.  I couldn’t help but check out how much it costs to look as fab as Styx. 

One t-shirt- size small- was over one hundred bucks! Bah.  Who knew it cost so much to look so …. grungy.

Ok, then, as I rounded the corner, I found the strangest thing of all….

it was a big ….huge…. pile of …….

OK so to the one person who gave a guess (Love you Kristinaaa!)

Ha!  The answer is…


Styx had a massive pile of used bandaids and bandaid wrappers.



3 responses to “Styx pays a visit to Palm Beach … and brings awkward 80’s hair groupies.

  1. It was probably a big huge pile of Kilroy Was Here CD cases, since they can’t sell them to anyone. (Their only really bad CD.)

    Was it banana peels? Empty cigarette boxes? Candy bar wrappers?

  2. The drummer uses them on his fingers. You might have noticed that they were not regular bandaids, thicker, more cushioned and had some grip to them.

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