Tag Archives: poodle

Please, please don’t put your poodle in a stroller. Please.

I would like to take this time to address something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for several months now. 

DOGS RIDING IN STROLLERS. 

OK America, it is time to get a grip. 

Look at your dog.  Look at him.  He has four legs, yes four.  That is two more legs than 98% of human being have. (If you are in that 2% category of having 4 legs, please contact me immediately.)  Four legs means your dog has twice as many legs that need to be walked, and twice as much energy that needs to be shimmied out. 

I see people all the time walking around not just Palm Beach but even West Palm Beach, with their fluffy little pooch being wheeled down the sidewalk. 

WHY! Give me a reason for why a dog stroller makes any sense and I will bake you a batch of cookies. 

 

Lets look at some examples: 

Example A:  The overly caffeinated, white pant wearing dog stroller toting woman.  This is the most common example of the dog stroller catastrophe.

This woman gets four extra creepy points for the fact that her mutt of choice is a poodle

Please refer to my previous posts to learn about my detest of dogs that have afros where there should be NO afro. 

Example B: This one I like to call the double batch of fun.  Although I can’t really picture this janky metal cage stroller being wheeled down Worth Ave, I could picture some crazy cat woman wearing a MuMu hauling it down Okeechobee Boulevard. 

Look at that cat. Look at it.  The second you open that cage you know she is about to pounce on your face and scratch off your mustache, until you regret ever adopting her from the pound.  Do NOT put a dog in a stroller, and even more so, never a feline.  

  

  

Example C:  

This one I like to call ‘what the heck’ stroller. 

Seriously, what is going on here.  First of all, who turned Mary Poppin’s magical bag into a dog stroller, and second, WHAT are they feeding those YORKIES!?  Either that is the smallest baby in the entire world, or those dogs are on steroids. 

  

  

 

Now, beautiful people of Palm Beach, and the West side for that matter, PLEASE reconsider before buying such a ridiculous contraption. Little Fro Fro the dog not only enjoys walking, his entire LIFE revolves around those precious moments out in the fresh air where he can frolic in the sun.  NO MORE DOG STROLLERS!

however, on a sensitive note, if your looks like this,  

you are very well entitled to putting him in a stroller. 

That little handicap dog is a precious lamb of God and deserves a stroller made out of solid gold.  

But painting your dogs fingernails, remains completely unacceptable in all circumstances.

  

  

  

  

And finally, to conclude todays post I thought I would share this little treat with you.  While googling ‘dog with wheelchair, this photo popped up.  This is by far the most TERRIFYING photograph I have EVER SEEN!!! 

Enjoy. 

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More poodle bliss.

 

This is a little something for you dozens of people who come to my sight via googling poodle, ugly poodle, or weird poodle.  Who knew I would get such traffic from you poodle lovers and haters!  Here is my update to the Palm Beach poodle madness.

I was in Publix the other day on the Island, fresh from the beach, covered in sand and smeared mascara and looking way sub par to the Palm Beach ladies who put on their finest for a trip to the grocery store.

Side note to this side note about poodles …. the Palm Beach Publix has valet parking.  The parking lot literally is 20 feet long.  Why would you valet?

Anyways, I was in there purchasing hot dogs for an upcoming camping adventure to St. Augustine (balla!).  Then, as I veered out of aisle 5 I came face to face with a massive. white. gigantic. poodle.

Visual aid:

 

 Yikes.

 Oh my goodness I just about dropped my mystery meat sticks encased in synthetic cellulose casings.  These giant poodles freak me out, and who let this big fluff puff into Publix?

Then I saw.  The precious old man who had this cotton candy dog on a leash had also taken the time to put on a “Service Dog” vest on it.

Service dog?  Really? Really?

Service dogs are labs or German shepherds … but not fluffy afro puff poodles!  What service exactly could this poodle provide?  Could he sing you Tina Turner songs when you feel like you needed a big hair tune to dance to?

 Please note this resemblance.

Anyways, the old Palm Beach man and his massive poodle were so adorable and precious, but so ridiculous at the same time.    Although I highly doubt that his poodle companion was a trained service dog, I don’t doubt that the little old man loved that fluff enough to take it into the grocery store.  I should have fed it a hot dog.  Onward soldiers!